Yesterday, I did a little Q&A on my story and my favorite question I received was “How do you stay intentional in your marriage on a weekly basis.” For lack of space, I only chose to respond with one answer, but I wanted to follow up here with the remainder:
1. Have healthy conflict: Don’t withhold feelings or frustrations with your spouse, but rather find a time when you can have calm, honest conversations about needs, expectations and any issues there may be. Be willing to each be humble enough to listen and seek understanding without quickly justifying your words or actions and work towards resolution. I have found this to be one of, if not the most unifying aspect of our marriage.
2. Find something you both look forward to sharing together every day: Whether it’s eating peanut butter M&M’s and watching Parks & Recreation once the kids are asleep or going on a walk after dinner, find your daily “thing” and try your best to prioritize it.
3. Pray together. Prayer is such an intimate thing and to share it with your spouse is always unifying.
4. Show affection regularly: Holding hands in the car, a welcome home kiss and well…sex
5. Ask how you can be a better spouse: My husband regularly asks me how he can be a better husband and even when I don’t have any feedback at that time, I still value the opportunity for us to “check in” and reflect on how we are doing in our roles in each other’s life.
6. Ask “what did you learn today?” I think this goes beyond just hearing about the bullet points of their day, but allowing for deeper conversation to happen. We both enjoy podcasts so we often discuss those or what God is teaching us.
I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers or a formula, just sharing from my own experience. I would love to hear if you have anything helpful info about how you prioritize your marriage in the midst of the busyness of work, kids, etc. Marriage is hard, but its always worth fighting for. (And i just want to mention that if you are struggling in your marriage or walking through divorce, I am so sorry. Even though i don’t know your name, i am praying for you ❤️)